Look, I’ll be honest with you: I don’t know shit about this whole Game of Thrones thing. Never read any of the books, never seen the series. I assume there are thrones involved, and a game of some kind, so in my imagination it’s an overly elaborate, live-action version of musical chairs. Am I close?
Y’know what? It doesn’t matter. Thanks to a westeros.org user using the probably-clever-for-some-reason nom de Internet “Other-in-Law,” I don’t actually need to watch the show or learn to read to grasp the whole thing. See, Mr. In-Law has spent far, far too much time crafting a map of Westeros (I’m just spitballing here, but let’s assume this is a “region” in the books), that not only charts fictional geography, but also fills the entire landmass with what I’m told are spoilers. In theory you can get the entire gist of the series from the vast map.
If I’m reading this correctly, Game of Thrones is the heartwarming tale of a bison driven to murder after his family is sodomized by angry trees. With special cameo appearances by Gargamel and the angry ghost of Marty Feldman.
I’m right, aren’t I?
Normally I’d put the entire map below, but this thing is so damn gigantic that it threatens to explode this very website. You can find the entire thing here, but if your computer starts screaming in Aramaic, that’s all on you buddy.
[Propers to Geekologie. The check's in the mail.]
This is my most favoritest post ever.
All we need now is somebody to animate this map with the Game of Thrones TV theme and all shall be right in the world.
Huh, I don’t see the Hablerwolblen Clan’s shield on this map. Seems incomplete to me… But, nice try, anyway.
@ryan NERDTRAP
I read the first book and have seen four and a half episodes of the show. Don’t think there are any spoilers in there.
I sincerely hope that the creator of that map is in the SCA. Just think what that person could do with a map of of The Knowne World and all of its Kingdoms, Baronies, and Shires.
Sorry Ryan, I have no idea what you just said. It was all “blah blah Halberwobble platypus communism penis squirrels diplodicus” and my brain was all “what was that about squirrels?”
And now I’m searching for Squirrel Girl hentai. Thanks a ton, jerk.
Seriously, can we get the next hot fantasy property into movie theaters and/or my TV already. Game of Thrones is SO last month.
No really… I don’t need another damn world of swords and sorcery with 500 family names to keep track of. There’s a reason I didn’t make it through The Simalril… Simla… oh that OTHER fantasy book written by Tolkien.