… crazy AWESOME.
How in the hell did I miss this for so long?
This movie is so bad – it’s absolute genius. We stream and DVR so much of our TV that occasionally things like this fly under my radar. NO LONGER.
This movie is THE BALLS. Amazing cars, Amber Heard, slow motion bullets, and a near incomprehensible plot. Everything I look for in a movie on night when my wife is out with her friends.
The premise is – well there really isn’t a premise as far as I can tell, some sort of Satanic cult has made Nic Cage real, real mad. That’s about it – he basically spends the rest of next 90 minutes fucking their shit up. There’s a whole Supernatural-type thing happening with some sort of magic old revolver, but it doesn’t really work or matter.
What does work – is the cars. A 1971 Chevelle, 1969 Dodge Charger, 1964 Riviera, a 1957 Chevy, and even a hydrogen tanker. This is total car porn for the rest of us – no spoilers or ridiculous colors. No NOS. The cars are mean looking and full of muscle – honestly, the movie is worth it just to watch them tear up the road.
Some dude who looks like a creep Davey Jones is in charge of this cult, see – and he carries a femur bone on him at times, for no apparent reason (CREEPY AND UNBALANCED!) The Cult is made up of hillbillies and truckers, who for some inexplicable reason prefer ridiculous large farming tools as weapons, over anything as effective as like say… a pistol.
Car chases, car chases, yadda yadda yadda, DEVIL COMING TO EARTH, shotgun, tuck stop, Charlotte Ross in the weirdest simultaneous slow-motion sex / murder montage ever. It’s all there – EVERYTHING – Patrick Lussier is either the next Robert Rodriguez… or mildly retarded. I can’t tell. I just know that I like it on an instinctual level – the movie is totally gratuitous without being offensive (for example: no one hides a cell phone in their vagina).
It’s on Xbox Live for some random number of points, whatever.. it’s worth it.
