The Hobbit – and a Klingon, and some dude who has to pee really bad

I’m still a little hesitant to go splashing around in The Hobbit’s particular nerd puddle. There’s already been more than a few little disappointments, stacking up like dishes in Bilbo’s sink. Guillermo Del Toro got bounced. It’s getting split into 2 movies for what seems to be a completely arbitrary, if not mercenary, reason. It’s being shot in 3D when to date, the only 3D movies to have made any real impactful use of the technology are Avatar and Transformers 3.

BUT: Those pictures from Entertainment Weekly of Gandalf and Bilbo seemed pretty spot on. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH will be playing Smaug. And there’s those 3 movies Peter Jackson made in the early 2000′s about short people walking towards a mountain and making friends with trees that were pretty good.

And then Dori, Nori, and Ori showed up.

The description that came w/ the press release from Warner Bros reads like a childrens story adaptation of The Tremor Brothers from Smokin Aces.

These three brothers, all sons of the same mother, could not be more different from each other.

Dori, the oldest, spends much of his time watching out for Ori, the youngest; making sure he’s not caught a chill or got himself killed by Wargs or Goblins.

Nobody quite knows what Nori gets up to most of the time, except that it’s guaranteed to be dodgy and quite probably, illegal.

Dori, Nori and Ori are intensely loyal to each other – and whilst they are perfectly happy fighting amongst themselves, woe-betide anyone who means harm to one of these brothers.

Woe-betide indeed. Ori looks like a Klingon over there. Specifically, that one Klingon who used to be in the Star Trek Board Game that came with a VHS tape. You’d roll some dice and move your piece around the enterprise and then the Klingon would scream at you from the TV and force you to talk to him and endure his Klingon insults as he ran around the set on a Sunday inbetween fan tours at Paramount.

Anyway, my early-morning quarterbacking aside, Dori looks pretty nicely dwarfy, and these three are probably the most memorable of the Dwarfs, after Thorin and Bombur, so its nice to see that they’re going to get their fair share of attention in the film. Curious to see not just the rest of the dwarves, but how they’re going to map parts of BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH’s face over Smaug’s. Between this and Game of Thrones, I’m betting there’s going to be a severe uptick in Dragon Fetish fanfic over the next few years.