Let’s talk about this situation.
My friends Carol and Aaron bought this tee shirt for me and forced me to put it on at the Portland Mercury office warming party. Then they took pictures while saying things like, “It’s kind of cute…can you cheat the angle? Some of these turned out okay”. So…yep. But you know what? I am still putting the picture on the internet because there is NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A CHUBBY BUNNY WEARING A SIZE SMALL KITTEN TEE SHIRT. My body is this way for a reason. Let me explain.
I like video games. I like naps. I have social anxiety (like most nerds) which is a great excuse to drink with friends – stops me from spiraling into a ball of fetus shaped whimpering/neuroses. I like food because I am a human. All of these things make me fun, slightly high maintenance, and really, really good at Fall Out 3. What they do not make me is thin.
I know, I know…thin should not be my goal. Health should be my goal but I am already healthy (other than the bi-monthly karaoke whiskey binges with friends). I have super low cholesterol, good blood pressure,an excellent cardiovascular system, and I eat all my veggies every day. The problem (if it even is a problem) is I am a NERD. I like reading for hours and hours on the couch with my cat. I like playing Portal 2 until it hurts to get up and straighten my legs. I like movies and television and a whole crapload of things that revolve around sitting. And yes, I like drinking because I am a writer and it is how we do. We’re sensitive special snowflakes who hover around the outsides of things making up stories in our heads about everything including what we think you’re saying about us which hurts our delicate feelings (feelings so intense they have their own feelings about their own feelings) which leads us to drink even more alcohol. Plus, I have a THING for Lost Generation writers. #themoreyouknow
Anyway, I’ve always struggled to balance being active with doing all the stuff I really love. And I do like exercise. It makes me feel good and shoves all the mean, angsty feelings down into…I don’t know probably my stomach…but it can be hard to motivate myself to do it when our couch is like a giant hug covered in my spirit animal (a fat cat) and so near the XBox and wheat thins. You guys know what I’m talking about.
I’m not stupid about exercise either. I’ve been thin and I’ve been fat and all the places in between so many times in my life I’ve stopped counting. I am a smart girl who knows about nutrition and HIIT and Vinyasa Yoga, P90X, Jillian Michaels and all of that shit. So please don’t get all up in my business about bootcamps and personal trainers (Who what? Stand next to you while you run on a treadmill? That is like my worst nightmare. I am an adult person who does not have to take PE anymore, okay? I will find my own way to exercise. I’m not a moron.)
I just naturally run to lazy and if I don’t watch everything that goes into my mouth and exercise every day for an hour I will gain weight. That’s how my body works. My body also needs 9-10 hours of sleep every night or I will cut a bitch. And a lot of us nerds tend to be on anti-depressants (because we see things we can’t unsee) which are notorious for weight gain and mid afternoon lethargy.
Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is it’s hard out there for a nerd with a slow metabolism. We’re smart. We know all about organic vegetables and complex carbohydrates and how to fucking count calories. But we also know how seductive a snuggle-y afternoon in pajamas is and how many hours it takes to beat Bioshock (nine) and how nice burritos are. I guess I have to find some kind of stupid balance or whatever. Ugh. I go to the gym every day like the normals but while I’m there I can’t say I don’t wish I wasn’t at home reading about Regency Era murders and magic dragon ships. That’s how I’m built.
Why the fuck am I writing this? Well…I’m drinking for one thing. My personal blog is borked and Nerd Puddle is MY ONLY BLOG OPTION. Bloption. Um. Anywho, I do what I want but I know I can’t be alone in the nerd fitness camp. We all want to look pretty (whatever that means – I’m looking at you MEDIA) and be healthy. We all want to be our best selves. But it runs so contrary to our nerd selves it sometimes seems almost impossible.
What do you guys think?
I am already healthy (other than the bi-monthly karaoke whiskey binges with friends). I have super low cholesterol, good blood pressure,an excellent cardiovascular system, and I eat all my veggies every day.
Kudos to you for being good to yourself. I can empathize with having an issue with staying active, though. I’ve lucked out in the past by doing stuff like taking swing-dance lessons; it’s active enough, and surprisingly pragmatic – being the only guy at a rockabilly show who can actually dance to the tunes is a small victory.
I would suggest that you follow my example of allowing stress to destroy your appetite.
I think you’re amazing. Thin doesn’t always equal healthy. Some thin people out there are closer to death, really. My friends get on my case because I’m supposedly a skinny girl– but I’m kind of proud of my food belly. I like food too much.
CHUB-CHUB NERDS FTW!
I understand. I try hit the gym 2-3 times a week, when I would rather be drinking beer or watching Torchwood, playing online games
I love you.
You are my new role model.
I too enjoy all the sitting stuffs and the foods and my kitten t-shirts show off my burrito belly proudly!
thanks for being real…you made me smile.
A- I’ve also been drinking
B- I am also chubby
C- I am also a girl nerd thing
So what if you’ve fat/chubby/rubenesque? As long as your heart and body are sound (as in, they function and it doesn’t wind you to get off the couch), who cares? If you’re healthy, it should not matter what size you are. I’ve also been in that glorious world of single digit sizes, but now I’m not, and I’m still a happy, nerdy person, and the Gap has jeans that fit my fat butt, AND I still haven’t beaten Dragon Age 2, so there is no way I am getting off the sofa to “jog” any time soon.
Oh thank god, I’m not alone!
This piece is GREAT. And you look great! (And I’m easily at least 1/3 bigger than you. Then again, for a nerd I really suck at math.)
I’ve always been mostly active (I played sports, I walk everywhere, I go to the gym) but I’ve always been overweight. The fact is, as much as I enjoy a good run on the treadmill, I also enjoy hours of reading on the sofa with my cats (like you) or in front of my computer coding HTML or playing the Sims.
Health should be the goal, sure, it’s my goal, but no amount of happy self esteem can completely avoid the self-conscious feeling of standing at a con surrounded by skinny girls dressed like Chun Li.
Crap, I’m not making much of a point. And I’m drinking too. (Vodka, and I’m not drunk, but it’s Project Runway night! Who can sit through reality tv without a cocktail, you know?)
/RAMBLES
This article is amazing. I have most of the same issues, coupled with being very short. I’m 5’0″, and according to BMI charts if I should weigh 95-115 pounds. For a girl who obsessively reads everything within reach, re-plays video games over and over, and spends the rest of her time looking at web comics… That is just NOT going to happen, no matter how healthy I eat. The only exercise I really get is walking my dog. So I just stick with being happy that I am in good health with a little pudge– I would much rather trade some chub for being skinny than trade my personality and interests for being bland. Who would choose going to the gym over playing some new DLC for Borderlands, anyway?
Now now, you know I have had my fudgy phases (evidence here http://bit.ly/nyrLBa) and you know I think you are beautiful at every single weight, Kiala dear.
My DREAM, my GREATEST DESIRE, is to get a treadmill or elliptical in my house. Because, y’all, I am so good at watching TV that I can do it EVEN WHILE IN MOTION. So long as I can pick the show. I will be on that treadmill FOR HOURS.
Alas, someday.
I had (maybe still have) high cholesterol. Back in Sept. on the advice of my doctor, after diet alone wasn’t cutting it, I got a recumbent bike. Now some back story for me. I’m a 3d artist at a game company. I love playing games, and am hooked on Catherine and MK right now. I also work 8-12 hour days at least 5 days a week. Back in October, my life turned upside down. Lost my job, my wife, and my health insurance (and my cute kitty). The depression and destitution did help me loose weight. I also started putting in about 45 minutes or more a day on the bike, while playing the 360. That does the trick, because the bike has a program that does the thinking, while I’m totally concentrating on the game. I spoke to my Dr. about cortisol levels of gamers that have fight or flight responses, without excercise, and he said that I had a good point about that, and that there should be a study done to see if that alone can drive up cholesterol. (which is why I got the bike). Anyway, you can do both. Exercise and get your game on. You’ve just got to minimize any kind of head bobbing. My knees (which I destroyed while fencing in college) have also never felt better.
Lmao this made my day! Im drinking an extra pbr tonight and putting on some its always sunny in Philadelphia,nerd girls are awesome!
It’s great that you exercise and eat healthy. I think we all have our set weight points. Maybe for you being “pudgy” is your healthiest weight point, and you’d have to starve or something to get skinnier. You look good anyways. I blame the media for making us think we’re only hot if we’re thin!
I can’t seem to get below 140 unless I starve myself, so I’m not really super strict about exercise and healthy eating. I won’t punish myself by doing P90X or eating <1200 calories a day. I'd rather be a little pudgy and still enjoy myself.
At least you try. I don’t even try
I’m right there with you! I like the *idea* of being fit. I also like the *taste* of a hot fudge sundae with black raspberry ice cream (aka, what i had last night).
the only saving grace for me is finding a nerd interest that requires fitness!
dressing up like a stormtrooper is not all that forgiving. if i put on more than a few pounds, that thousand dollar suit doesn’t fit anymore. it keeps me honest.
plus, great new thing: my gym has video games!!! there’s an exercise bike with programmed modes, a screen, and handle bars you can turn. one of the modes is “dragon chase” where you… well… chase a dragon. if you don’t catch him you lose. we’ll ignore the part where if you DO catch him he should by all that is right and good eat you, or at least set you on fire or spit acid. where was i going with this again?
I am short, I am fat. I don’t let it keep me from costuming. Although I do wish I were thinner, just because it offers more of a variety of costumes.
My nerd problem is that I’m naturally thin, so it’s easy for me to convince myself that I’m healthy because of all the thin=healthy bullshit out there. In fact, I have a resting pulse of about 90 and the muscle tone of a fatted calf. I was breastfeeding for a while, so I used that as an excuse to eat ice cream whenever I wanted, so I’m sure my cholesterol level, which was already hovering near 200, isn’t so great now.
Charming answer: Kiala, you are a gorgeous, thin, radiant woman. Jesus Christ himself would fill you with all kinds of angel babies, if he wasn’t both dead and gay (I read that somewhere).
Comedy answer: Pretty much the same as the first one, only in this scenario the role of Jesus Christ is played by Brian Williams.
Portland answer: Ben Gibbard and Zoe Deschanel. Both of them are Jesus. Also, there are birds on EVERYTHING.
But for realsies, I’m very impressed by your willpower. I don’t feel right actually commenting on anyone’s figure given my whole “svelte by virtue of internal bleeding” thing, but your drive to improve yourself is the most inspirational thing I’ve read since that story about the little train that saved Ralph Fiennes from the Nazis.
“The Little Train With Chutzpah,” they call it. Spielberg optioned the film rights in ’95.
I am a geek who is tentatively exploring the world of gaming. Gulp. Okay, I would like to explore said world but have not idea which ones to start with. Ideas? Suggestions?